Reality hits like a

bomb in a building the other day. Big and sudden and obscurely sad in an instant. Gary, Kyvon and I went to the movies and saw Les Miserables....it was great by the way.... What gave me a shock was what happened even before the movie started. As I randomly tripped the light fantastic up the stairs to sit in the tippity top row, Kyvon was helping his Papa come up the stairs. I heard them talking about where was I sitting so, finally coming too, I turned and looked as they started to ascend the stairs. There was my husband slightly bent over, searching for the guide rail and leaning on his cane. His knees were bothering him so he was using it. He looked so frail all of a sudden. I mentally stopped all gayity and stared for a couple minutes as he climbed his way to the top. Kyvon was guardedly guiding him up. I felt ashamed that I hadn't stayed with them and helped him up myself. After the movie, I even appologized to him.

I bring this up as I was handed a wonderful opportunity to share with someone my assistance and overlooked the situation. Kyvon was quite capable to assist him, but that wasn't the point for me. I looked at him like, 'How much longer do I keep this man?'.. It scared me. As I watched the movie, my mind went back often to the scene of our arrival. It really bothered me. The combination of the movie and the thinking really rattled me. I did enjoy our movie and I did pay attention to it fully. I could not get the picture out of my head. Gary is my one and only, my eternal mate and my best friend. It hurt to realize that I could lose him sooner than later. I know when the time is right, I will need to be ready for that to occur. Personally, having gone through it before, I don't want it to come too soon.

Reality sucks, its really hard to realize that can happen. Lots of things can change in my life and yours for that matter. Being prepared spiritually, physically and all other ways is what I've been trained to be. My father always told me to ask myself, what if? He didn't mean it in a negative way, he just wanted me to be prepared for what can happen. To learn to expect things to come along, positive or negative...( I almost lost this post). Anyway, getting back to the situation. I prayed about what I would do and was advised to simply avoid making a situation of it and to go on. Be prepared but don't panick.

I agree with this. It's better to know and accept what we can than to be blindsided and not understand what to do next. I love my husband always and forever, along with all my family and friends. I love my Heavenly Father for what he gives me. The love and understanding of a very patient man.

Gary is my best friend and always will be.