Things Change

I'm having a great time at my niece's apartment. Been doing some shopping and snacking, though my body doth protest. Gotta get back on the food control.
Dodi and I went to visit her mom today and reminisced about what we have been up too. Mom and daughter both put up their Christmas trees today. What a wonderful family I have.
Perhaps I should explain a bit. I have been out of sorts this week. I guess I expected a different atmosphere to be here when Gary and I showed up. The last two years have been full of good and bad happenings. The struggles of everyday life have made me feel needed? I guess... Anyways, to lose that requirement has been a bit of a let down for me. I suppose I should look more to myself and try to gain a more positive opinion of myself. I've started a new lease on life. I want to share some of my feelings with other people like me. I want to gain a better understanding of what to expect in my life. I sometimes feel lost and confused and unsure of how I am progressing.
I shouldn't have to keep working so hard. It makes me frustrated to see how easily some people accept things and 'go on' with their lives. I tend to envy them a bit. I wish I had that kind of fortitude.
Anyways, I do want to improve myself. I do want to succeed at something. Maybe I just need to sit down and concentrate on what has happened these last few years. Are things getting better? Am I really doing what I want to do? Do I have the gumption to do the things I've started or will I give up again?
Well, maybe I should realize what is in my heart and just do it. No more questions... Just actions!

New lifestyle is hard

Yes, losing weight is hard, especially when you travel to visit relatives. I've had a great time visiting my sister and her oldest daughter, Suzie and Dodi... It has been a heart warming experience this time. Finally, I feel comfortable with her decisions and the daily schedule she has established...It's nice to see that she has it all together.
As for me? well...I have a long way to go. I have been losing weight I think. Or at least my body feels better, minus the severe pain in my right shoulder..could be a strain on my rotator cuff or a actual tear of the muscle..either way, it hurts really badly. I've started getting around a little better and hope to be able to do some serious walking when we get home next week.
I've had a lot of interesting things go on while we are here. An awakening of sorts. It's kinda weird that I feel as if my life stopped and everyone else's is still going strong. I feel as if I am in a stale mate game of chess...I can't move forward or sideways or backwards...stuck in place. I guess I should stop worrying about other people's lives and deal with my own. Success is available when I finally act on this realization.

Heavenly Father is always there to guide me and help me to make these findings real. I hope that I can do his will and be worthy of his attention and such. My testimony is still strong. My family is there and I am grateful for all my blessings...more next time...ta ta...