Phazed and Cornfuzed

I am so excited to be able to move this weekend, sooooo why am I so depressed? I've been kind of in a slump these last few days...strange. I've been thinking about it for the last few days and I think I've figured it out.

We've moved a few times, almost every year and it was no big deal. Back and forth, back and forth... To Nevada and Utah and back to Fresno. Then on to Colorado and back to Fresno. So, we have left Fresno a few times, not to mention that we've lived in every part of this town. It's crazy... So, why does it bother me to move this time? I think it's because of the fact that THIS time it feels final.or at least that's how I feel about it. I guess as much as I've complained and griped about some of the bad things I felt about this cow town, I've also grown to love some things about it.

Like for instance, the fact that such a big town does have a small town personality.it bothers me in some winces that Fresno is so hick, as far as taking care of the people here and some of the strange and bizarre decisions they have made. As for the people here? Well, they are mostly polite and kind and just plain friendly. I've learned in the last few months especially how much they help and how they want to know people. I never really had an opportunity to meet my neighbors in the past. Apartment living made it easy to avoid people and to keep to myself. Now, I get with the neighbors and know names. I've always had friends here in Fresno and everywhere we have lived, but it's the feeling of comradurie and helpfulness that has made the difference.

Yes, I'm still excited to move but I finally realized that this big hick town ain't so bad after all...

Another Day, Another Disaster

DAMN!! Well, I think one word can tell how I feel....Damn...! I'm not sure anymore if I should be shocked when something happens. I really shouldn't be, but it seems I like most human beings get shocked. I guess I could get hardened by these things like the people in disaster prone areas are. Like the little kids who play amidst the bombings, or drug wars, or natural disasters, knowing that it could happen at any minute...like I don't know, maybe get flippant about it like, oh wellll, at least it's not me...

I CAN'T DO THAT! I care too much to feel that way. Granted it is a mental relief but at the same time, all those innocent people. All those runners and observers. Just watching the race that only happens once a year. What about next year? Will they cancel out of fear? Will they try to overcompensate by having too much security? Will people show up if they do have it? All these things are on the minds of the people of Boston. The biggest thing is the pain, the frustration and the torment that they feel that bothers me the most. Maybe I am soft hearted, and weak that way but I can't ever understand how people can be so cold hearted to just kill other people for their beliefs, faith, or Anything else. It's too ridiculous to me to try to understand what they are trying to prove. Irony is that all forms of worship oppose killing. Except for defense, I do too. I wish there was no need for military force, or guns, or other defensive means. Reality tells me that it isn't possible for this to be... One day it will... One day Jesus Christ will rule this world and there will be NO need for violence or disasters...