I'm having a great time at my niece's apartment. Been doing some shopping and snacking, though my body doth protest. Gotta get back on the food control.
Dodi and I went to visit her mom today and reminisced about what we have been up too. Mom and daughter both put up their Christmas trees today. What a wonderful family I have.
Perhaps I should explain a bit. I have been out of sorts this week. I guess I expected a different atmosphere to be here when Gary and I showed up. The last two years have been full of good and bad happenings. The struggles of everyday life have made me feel needed? I guess... Anyways, to lose that requirement has been a bit of a let down for me. I suppose I should look more to myself and try to gain a more positive opinion of myself. I've started a new lease on life. I want to share some of my feelings with other people like me. I want to gain a better understanding of what to expect in my life. I sometimes feel lost and confused and unsure of how I am progressing.
I shouldn't have to keep working so hard. It makes me frustrated to see how easily some people accept things and 'go on' with their lives. I tend to envy them a bit. I wish I had that kind of fortitude.
Anyways, I do want to improve myself. I do want to succeed at something. Maybe I just need to sit down and concentrate on what has happened these last few years. Are things getting better? Am I really doing what I want to do? Do I have the gumption to do the things I've started or will I give up again?
Well, maybe I should realize what is in my heart and just do it. No more questions... Just actions!
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