Life is good

I am ever so grateful for my blessings. Finding solutions to problems and getting organized is really helping me emotionally. I have a recurring feeling in the back of my mind and can't figure it out. Maybe it's the dropping shoe effect, I don't really know.
Shouldn't I be happy? Why do feel like this? Is it a lack of faith or a tad bit of depression trying to cast me into the depths of darkness... I know Heavenly Father loves me. I wonder why aches and pains do this to me... Tomorrow I go for physical therapy and I hope it works. I hate feeling like this cuz it sux big time.
Sometimes, pitfalls come right after the high, like eating chocolate and then getting really tired. We need to realize or wake up and find a solution for anxiety and depression. It is real enough I promise you. Medication does help and so does getting outside, but with this shoulder pain, it's near impossible to tolerate the pain. Please oh please understand the realness of this. Jan, You need to learn to accept things you can't change.
Maybe it's the guilt I feel for not contacting my oldest grandson sooner. Could I have trusted more fully the promptings I was getting last year? Or was I ready to communicate with him. Was he ready to talk to me? Probably not... I know the time was right now, not then. I guess you could say different but I feel I have finally opened the door.
So, maybe my darkness will soon subside... Maybe....