This must be my rant and rave place...

DAMN IT! It's been a see saw day today. I don't  wanna write puppy stuff, literary genius stuff or soft mood stuff. So, I turn to the wrong decision site to share my frustration. Ive been upset since I first saw my Father in law last week. No one so wonderful deserves to suffer like he did. I still feel he's in a better place and that it has been a beautiful last few days; but right now, this very moment? Life fricken sucks. Yeah, I know I shouldn't be so wildly emotional. He's better off. We will see him again, he's with mom, etc etcetera etcetera...yada yada... Can you say pissed off! Yeah, that's me right now. Add my other issues of health, finances and the rest and you've got one mean moody lady that NO ONE wants to be around. Ok, I still read my scriptures every night and with lots of prayer, I'll get through this. I know that... I wish I didn't feel guilty about being to angry. It's part of reality I guess. I've been venting to anyone who will listen but I'd better cool that or they won't want to be around anymore. I hate this...I hate this...I HATE THIS!!! 

Ok, ok, I got that out... Feeling sorry for poor little Janet is over. I've got to get my head on straight if I can expect things to improve. Besides, I've got positive news too...and it's just in proportion to how I get myself together as to how things will end up. Heavenly Father has blessed me so much. I'm not denying that. I know he's there for me and that's why I feel so bad about how I'm feeling right now. My dog just crawled up next to her crying momma and laid down next to me on the chair as I type. I'm not doing this to have everyone feel sorry for me. I just need to get things out! I am ever so grateful for the love of my family, friends, and especially Heavenly Father... I'm grateful for the possible good news of a place for me and pop...just us after so many years. It will also get rid of some of the resentment and bitterness I've felt over the years. I can now realize how much that has ruined my health and my life. It's very true how much it hurts the angry compared to the person or persons it's directed to. I probably shouldn't put this down but it's time for me to grow up and put my big girl panties on... Too many things affected my feelings these last few years, jobs, people, situations, decisions, health, and it goes on. 

Maybe this blog has been a good thing because I've been able to share over time how I feel. Sometimes, it just doesn't fit right with the other blog sites I have so, this poor thing gets all my random rants and raves. Perhaps, over time, this blog will close, but until then....watch out! The moody obnoxious crazy woman is still alive and well...

Love you all, no matter what my mood is...like the Duke said... Saddle up anyway...