It's Coming

on Thursday, July 12th. I will be having the surgery I have been preparing for. I am so excited. Today, I did the pre-op bloodwork and ekg/chest X-ray. I actually lost another pound. Considering I have disobeyed the rules of last meal, I am surprised. I must say I was not worried until I got into the elevator to go see the doctor this morning. My stomach took a flop and I immediately felt sick. It only lasted a few minutes but non-the less, I did feel the sensation. I am excited to know that I can accomplish this one task. I have spent to many years trying to lose the weight and I know that this is a lifetime commitment, but I will prevail. I have felt the temptations of the food calling me all the time. I have been weak so I pray that I will win this one war.

I have spent so much time, trying to figure out what it is that I truly want to accomplish in this life. I am excited to see my interests finally expanding to things other than the internet and staying in my dirty stinky lounge chair. I have enjoyed getting out into the clear blue skies of the coast. (we went at least 3 times within the last few weeks). We also have been working on possibly moving somewhere else than Fresno. I like Fresno but I can't see me spending the rest of my life here. I need something more by a cooler and more constant weather for my health. It is much easier to walk aaround there without feeling exhausted from the fumes and the strains of the area...for some reason, I don't like walking here in Fresno, it might be a hidden fear that I will have to conquer. Maybe it's as simple as I live here and don't feel like walking the area on a constant basis...I think I will lean towards that answer.

I know that all the things that are opening up in my life is because Heavenly Father wants me to improve my life. I also know I am stretching my luck as I haven't done anything to show him that I appreciate his help. Really? it would be so easy to get back in track with him. I guess I've allowed too many excuses and temptations to cloud my reasoning and judgement. Since this blog is about Life's decisions, maybe it's the next one I need to attack... Just saying.. I must start showing Heavenly Father that his faith in me is not a waste of time. I must start doing some of the things I promised. I am praying and trying to maintain a positive attitude but haven't done the rest of my side of the bargain...

Heavenly Father is the only reason I am here today. He saved me many a time from a short life and helped me to endure things I never thought I could. I know without a doubt that I am here for a reason and need to get busy and fulfill my responsibilities. I will begin to do those things tonight as I finish this blog post, I will do my scripture reading and say my prayers for the evening. I know if I do my absolute best, (not just part way) I will be blessed for being who I need to be and who I want to be. I know Satan has made a big imprint on me and expects me to fail. I will do what I can to frustrate him and make myself and Heavenly Father happy and proud to be who I am. Well, I will end this and wish me luck and pray that I will successfully go through this operation without any real trama...Love to all of you who read this....Jan