Now that is a fact, let me explain. I have watched this past year fly by me like a kite in the wind. I have done absolutely nothing to show or share my life with my friends and family. Yes, I did run back and forth to Utah and Colorado and typed my life away on facebook and twitter, but I've done nothing to show what I can improve myself. Sitting every day watching TV and playing the Computer. Well, things are changing...FINALLY EH?? To start with, I went to church last Sunday and really enjoyed the meeting. I was proud of myself, not like pride, but more like I finally quit failing at keeping at least one of my personal goals. I know to some of you it sounds silly, but for me? it is a very good start. The last few years I have spent waaay to much time feeling sorry for number 1...and not enough time doing something about it. I also now am getting things started to lose weight and prepare for Bariatric Surgery...or Gastric Bypass...I have a six month weight maintenance program to do and then I will finally get the surgery. It is a scarey but exciting project for me. I've always been chubby or just plain fat. My input was and still is greater than my output. I love food especially the starches and sweets...the more the better. Courage is a big word and fortitude is a new word for me. I've been content (to a frustrating since) to just let things be...NO MORE!!!
I have always wanted to be smaller than I am but, I haven't had the fortitude to do something about it. At one point, I couldn't because of the finances, now with Health insurance and Medicare, I can finally take care of me... The first dr's visit was taking care of some skin tags (may be cancerous, though none have been so far) and a couple of minor skin lesions. I also found out that I am a possible candidate for Diabetes if I don't back down on the goodies and starches. I am also twice my perfect weight and dealing with High Cholesterol and a fast beating/irregular heart beat. With the anxiety and depression and Fibromyalgia, I figure something I can take care of should be. Thus, if I lose weight and have the surgery, the diabetes and cholesterol problems should go away...then, on the the rest of the issues to keep me in line with what I have to daily contend with.
Once the medical issues are under control, I will deal with more of the other issues, one at a time. Concurrently, I will be going to church and trying to prepare myself for my spiritual well being. If the physical and spiritual self is in hand, the rest will follow suit...I am so grateful that I can finally do something I've wanted to do for a long time. I am so grateful for my Heavenly Father and all he does for me...
The one thing that is going along the back of my mind is how should I deal with the structure of life I want to lead. Because of the health issues, I've all but ignored until recently the real world situation around me. I guess if I didn't see it, it wasn't happening. I am truly frustrated with the way things are going,. Opinions are immediately turned around and taken so literally that people are actually angry rather than dealing out constructive information. I guess if I feel something about the issue at hand, I will learn more about it and try to see both sides. I do know that I have to wait again to deal with these issues, wait until it's time for me to work it out...because First, it's health and spiritual and then the rest will fall in line....Gotta love it y'all...
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